Monday, January 29, 2007

Meet Tira (short for tirade).....


Be forewarned, Tira only makes an appearance on my blog when she is pissed about something.

Seems she watched the S.A.G. Awards last night and was very excited that "Grey's Anatomy" won for "Best Television Drama Ensemble." She noticed that T.R. Knight (Dr. George O'Malley) was the last to join his cast mates on stage and seemed withdrawn from the group. I guess it's kind of hard to celebrate when one of your cast mates, Isaiah Washington has singled you out as a "faggot" not once but twice in public displays. Washington, in a slick P.R. move, is in rehab???!!! Since when are there rehabilitation centers for bigots?

Washington's behavior is juvenile and unacceptable. What if T.R. Knight had decided to fly the "N" word at Washington? Then how would have Hollywood and viewers seen this situation? I assure you the actor would have been fired from the successful ABC series. Washington deserves what anyone using hateful and discriminatory language in the workplace would face: UNEMPLOYMENT!

Isaiah Washington: BRING IT BITCH!

Monday, January 22, 2007

The day after.....


It was a difficult day yesterday. We took the train south and watched the Saints – Bears N.F.C. Championship game at friend’s loft downtown only four blocks away from Soldier Field. We were offered our regular season seats but opted to skip the conditions and the crowd.

It was established earlier that weather would not be a factor for either team, but that proved to be wrong. Ask the New Orleans Saints and they would have taken the Seahawks and a game in the Superdome any day over the freezing mix of snow and sleet and an unpredictable field in Chicago. It was clear from the start of the game that New Orleans was going to have problems with the elements. And then there was that statistic that dome teams are 0-9 (well now 0-10) in the championship game when facing an opponent that plays outdoors.

Everyone kept repeating that for me, this game was a win – win situation of sorts. When it became obvious that the Saints road to the Super Bowl would come to a halt in Chicago, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the team and all my family friends back in New Orleans. The phone calls started rolling in the fourth quarter. My friend Lisa: “Ya’ll are beating us…..stop it!” My brother David: “Ya’ll kicked our ass.” These calls gave way to the reality that I was: ”Ya’ll” and not “they” No matter who I was rooting for, I was in Chicago and therefore I go.

For me, it’s a couple more weeks of downtown high rises illuminating “Go Bears!” and the towers that line the Chicago River lit up in Bear orange and blue. I’ve never lived in a city with a team headed to the Super Bowl. I only hope one day my family and friends down in New Orleans can say the same. The New Orleans Saints have much of which to be proud. One thing is for sure: It will be another sellout season for the Saints in 2007.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Chicago Bears fight song...and we do have one....


I've enjoyed all the games I've seen at Soldier Field this year, mainly because the weather was beautiful for all of them and well....we won.
Like any home football team, the "Midway Monsters" have their rituals. After every Bear score, the team fight song: "Bear Down" is played on the Megavision screens with "sing-a-long" words at the bottom. Now, our first few games we kind of la-la-lah'd our way through it, but I was determined and took the lead. We would know the words to this song and sing with everybody.

After much research (too much) I knew the song as well as the Penn State fight song:"Fight on State." So, for all my Saint's family down in New Orleans, this is a song you will not want to hear repeatedly on Sunday....because that means...HELLO! We're scoring.

For everyone that knows: "When the Saints Go Marching In", this is: "Bear Down!" performed by Sir Georg Solti and the Chicago Symphony & Chorus 1986:

  • "BEAR DOWN!"

  • Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory;
    Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.
    We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.
    Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.
    You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.


    OR....who could ever forget "The Super Bowl Shuffle" performed by the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Chicago Bears:

  • "SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE"



  • Staley- The "Chicago Bears" mascot

    "Illegal use of Pet....15 yards...First Down!"


    Our friend Francie from Washington D.C., and a HUGE New Orleans Saints fan, has decided that a referee "voo-doo" doll, along with a little canine help (Chloe), will keep the officials honest during Sunday's N.F.C. Championship game between the Chicago Bears and the Saints.

    Wednesday, January 17, 2007

    The After Christmas Christmas Cactus?



    For anyone who has tried to grow a Christmas Cactus, much less getting it to bloom, good luck.

    I inherited this as one of many plants when John's folks relocated to Florida. It was three small sprigs or branches when I got it and has steadily grown, but never flowered (sort of like me.) It made the road trip from Dallas to Chicago and grew some more, but still no flowers.

    Well a few days after Christmas this past year, I saw a few blossoms and what do you know....flowers!

    I have been told in order to promote the flowering process one must use the "Flowers in the Attic" method: hide it in the dark and don't feed it. Who knew?

    Monday, January 15, 2007

    It's time for a "Second Line" to the Super Bowl












    Saint's quarterback Drew Brees after defeating the Philadelphia Eagles


    I received an email this morning from my brother David in New Orleans declaring: “Who dat say they gonna beat dem Saints? Who dat? Who dat?” this would be the “neighborhood” battle cry of the “New Orleans Saints.” The team is in the N.F.C. Championship game for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Wait… did I just say Saints and Super Bowl? Ya’ got dat right. The Black and Gold of New Orleans head to Chicago to face- who dat: Da’ Bears.

    One cannot look at the incredible story of this New Orleans team without looking at the city itself. It’s only been a little over a year since New Orleans and the Gulf Coast region were literally brought to their knees by a devastating hurricane. The images of the days that followed the landfall of Katrina broke the hearts of a nation. The Louisiana Superdome, home of the Saints, lay battered with parts of its roof torn away and evacuees trapped in the subsequent flooding. A stadium that had seen so many good times was quickly becoming a tragic icon of the storm. There was even talk that the building would be destroyed, but that was then.

    Since I moved to Chicago, I’ve noticed a similar character of New Orleans in the Windy City. Bears fans have the same hearts and enthusiasm as Saints fans. This is a city that lives for sports. But New Orleans is a city that has found new life and some hope with their winning Saints. These long suffering fans and residents deserve a Super Bowl because they’ve downright earned it. No, we’ve earned it. I’ll be rooting for the Black and Gold come Sunday. What a story for a city that has been limping its way back to normalcy. This team has now become an American comeback story and America could use a really good one in the shadows of the mess in Iraq and the horrendous debacle of the U.S. Government’s failures before and after Katrina.

    In the reply to my brother I wrote that: ”I may live in Chicago now, but New Orleans will always be my home.”

    Thursday, January 11, 2007

    S.A.D. came to visit...


    "Winters are long in Chicago.” Everyone kept telling me this as Fall approached and I guess I never quite grasped the meaning of that statement. I took it as the cold weather lasts a long time. That I can prepare for and did last year, but nothing prepped me for what happened at the end of this past October.

    Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you I’m a morning person. With the ending of daylight savings time, I found myself in the morning walking to my train in the dark and walking home in the dark not to mention that I work in a downtown high rise with no windows. Soon I began feel tired all of the time. I would wake up with no energy and worst of all my eating habits started to change. My one glazed donut from 7 – Eleven soon turned to three and you know where I’m going with this.

    I usually get a case of the “holiday blues” but this was something different. My first reaction was not to panic that this was not the return of another bout of serious depression. I called my doctor and made an appointment. She said that I was experiencing “Seasonal Affective Disorder” and the lack of natural sunlight was causing the change in my behavior. She went on to say that many in her practice suffer from the disorder and that it is pretty common in the winter months. Well, shit. I thought to myself.

    Come to think of it, the sun had not been out in three weeks and the place started to feel like Russia. The doctor immediately offered up a pill as the solution. It’s either that or one of those “light” boxes that you sit in front for 30 minutes each day. Most of this was making sense but at the same time I was thinking: “What a bunch of crap; and for God sake, a pill?”

    She wanted to put me on Lexapro. “Are you familiar with the drug?” she said. I dropped my head and looked up with the eyes of someone hiding a machete behind their back. I told her my story (nightmares) about anti-depressants and sedatives that doctors seem to be prescribing like candy. I am no fan of any of these drugs. “Do you know about the suicide rate in Alaska or the Vodka poisonings in Russia? She said. Well, she really didn’t say that, but I suddenly was dwelling on those subjects for some reason.

    “When did you last take Lexapro?” she asked? I explained that I was on the highest dosage and mixing it with alcohol. “Oh…okay. Tell me about that period of your life." To save those of you who have read about this in pervious posts a bunch of time:




    TIME PASSED..






    “Hmmm… that’s some story.” she said. “Can we at least try the lowest dosage and see how it goes. You’re no longer drinking and I think it will have a tremendous effect on how you’re feeling. I can give you some samples.” I took the samples and left her office. On the walk home (it was cloudy that day too.) I started to think about how at one time pills, alcohol, and a botched diagnosis that I was bi-polar took away someone I really loved. But something was different this time: alcohol was not in the equation. So I started treatment. Stay tuned.

    Wednesday, January 10, 2007

    "K Balls" in the N.F.L.? What?


    Okay, even I find this story interesting. It seems that the issue of special "K balls" have come front and center in the wake of Dallas Cowboy's QB Tony Romo's play - off game losing fumble of a field goal snap against the Seattle Seahawks last Saturday night.

    Romo was inconsolable in tears in the locker room after the loss. But what is a "K ball?" Besides an obvious joke possibility, it seems that these balls, used only in kicking portions of the game, are extra slick (waxy.) They are delivered by Wilson to the stadium in the type of security liken to that of an armored truck. Why do you ask?

    Back in the day, it was discovered that coaches manipulated regular balls by such methods as microwaving, over inflating, etc. to give the pigskin some extra leg if you know what I mean. Some N.F.L. kickers were setting record touchback stats due to the "tainted" balls. The rest of the story, if your interested is in the link below.

  • Romo Fumbles K Ball


  • Romo's incredible start at the QB position in Dallas (he replaced Drew Bledsoe) was one of the feel good stories of the N.F.L. season ending in a slide of losses and one football of which he'd love to have some serious alone time. I know a few friends who would like some serious alone time with Romo.



    Now, Indianapolis Colt's kicker extraordinaire, Adam Vinatieri (see below, and he can say anything he wants to me), states that all kickers work with the same ball, so shut up!















    Adam Vinatieri when he's not kicking


    IN A somewhat RELATED STORY:

    Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed
    (pictured here).......
    doesn't take rejection well. Apparently Reed was putting the moves on two women in a hotel bar after a game. They continually brushed off the N.F.L. kicker who abandoned his cause and asked: "Well can I at least have your phone numbers?" The women figured why not?

    Gotta love the straight boys. Reed proceeded to go back to his hotel room and snapped this shot of himself in the mirror. He sent it to the women with the text message: "This is what you missed." Enough said, enough seen. Have to say the man is pretty good with a razor.


    Jeff Reed when he is not kicking....or whatever.

    Tuesday, January 09, 2007

    HOLY COW.......


    Sometimes you need a picture of a divine bovine just to make you smile! No thank you is necessary.

    Friday, January 05, 2007

    From the "How Did I Miss This One?!" file.......


    CNN Anchor Thomas Roberts came out at the National Gay and Lesbian Journalists Association conference that was held in Miami in September, and the fact that it was apropos of nothing was perhaps the most significant thing about it. While other public figures' decisions to come out were most often inspired by rumors or events, Roberts' was of his own timing and volition. Said the handsome anchor: : "When you hold something back, that's all everyone wants to know.''
    I have been a fan of Roberts for years and if I'm channel surfing and catch him doing the news, I always gawk, I mean watch for a while. Roberts has been in a committed relationship since 1999, obviously making 1999 not my year!

    Thursday, January 04, 2007

    The View from a Bridge


    There have many songs written about bridges: “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “Love Can Build a Bridge”, “Too Many Rivers” and “London Bridge” (and not the brainless Fergie version.) Most of the songs have one thing in common: transition. Sometimes we come to a certain bridge and pause looking at the other side, what is beneath and most importantly should it be crossed? The metaphors here are endless. I think most of us view bridges as a means to get from one side to another, but what are the sides or better yet is it safe?

    Okay, two people meet on a bridge. The bridge is new and the view beautiful and endless. They decided they liked where they were and started building a life together. A few years passed and the two are still very happy, the view gorgeous as ever, the bridge stable. As the years progress one or both begin to creep from the middle to different sides of the bridge curious as to what is there. The farther away they move from one another the view begins to change. Yes, they return to the middle together but things are not the same. Both have had a glimpse of the other sides of the bridge and suddenly their beautiful view from the middle is clouded.

    Now, all of this pacing from one side to the other has made the bridge unstable, the two begin to feel insecure and unsure. Soon a choice has to be made: cross the bridge together or retreat to different sides. Both retreat to opposite sides to what they consider to be safe ground, the bridge no longer sturdy to navigate and so they part.

    After a few years, both return to the bridge thinking maybe they’ll get a glimpse of that someone they knew on the other side; but all that remains is the rickety mess they left behind; still they come back again and again, no one on the other side.

    One day it happened that both arrived at opposite sides at the same time. They were happy to see each other but both stared down at the weathered boards and tattered rope in front of them. They both looked out for that beautiful view, but the trees only gave them a glimpse, bits and pieces of the beauty they once viewed from the middle of the bridge. The two could only manage smiles and shrug their shoulders. They were both anxious to talk to each other openly and honestly, discuss what they’ve learned, the progress they’ve made. But how do they get to the middle of the bridge?

    “It’s not safe!” one yelled to the other. “What do we do?” the other yelled back. “It’s not worth it. We’ve been here before.” The other replied. “Then why do we keep coming back?” said the other. Then there was silence. “I keep remembering the way this used to look that day we met in the middle.” He replied. “But we didn’t meet in middle that day. I saw you on the other side and we worked our way to the middle.” the other said. “How do you know if the view is the same?” he said. “How do you know if it’s not better? Listen. We’ll never know if we don’t at least try.” He yelled. “I’m afraid of you and what you became.” He shot back. “I know, but you have no idea the long road I’ve traveled on this side to get back here. Have we come all this way to just stare at each other? We can’t stay this way forever. We’ll take it one board at a time.” He answered. The other could not reply but only look across sadly and turn away.

    The one left behind sat on a rock by the edge. “He’ll be back.” he said to himself. Until that day he’ll sit and wait.

    Wednesday, January 03, 2007

    See Clouds Arriving without Warning

    The past year has been filled with discovery, but I was not prepared for the sudden appearance of what you would call heightened intuition. What started as: "I have a pretty good feeling" has turned into something much more.

    It all began before our move to Chicago in December of 2005. A visit to the city in the Spring of that year brought a feeling that Chicago would be home by the end of the year. I told my partner John that it would be around December we would make the move. As events unfolded it seemed that this would indeed come to pass. Nah....coincidence I thought.

    The decision to move to Chicago was not an easy one for John. The organization in Dallas where he was employed seemed to be heading to a period of upheaval. I had finally emerged from the depths of alcoholism and prescription drug dependency but had yet to reestablish my confidence. Before leaving Dallas, I warned John of three events that would take place upon leaving his current position, two of which came to pass a couple of months after his departure. The third event was a bit more tricky and was laughed off by John as "impossible, never gonna happen."

    I made it to Chicago in early December 2005. For me there was never a doubt in my mind that the move was a good thing for all involved. I found a job pretty quickly and we began to settle in as residents of this great city. As for the third event mentioned in the previous paragraph, I would ask John periodically "whether a decision had been made," his answer was always an unsure "no."

    This third prediction hung over me like that junk drawer that always needs cleaning and you never get to it. I seemed so sure about this. It would not go away and it was a very important player in what I saw further down the line. In other words, if this happened, a series of events would follow. What was taking so long?

    On October 12, 2006 almost a year after John's move, a most unexpected press release arrived in his email. The third "impossible, never gonna happen" prediction came true. There was an immediate sense of uneasiness on John's part. This new twist had him questioning all of his decisions leading up to this point and more important wondering what else did I know.

    What I do know is that this has had a profound effect on me. Knowing what follows now involves free will, something of which I'm reluctant to get involved or influence. So now comes silence and through that an acceptance of something my father whispered to me in a dream last week: "Be still, and trust his will."

    This journey over the past three years has been filled with abuse, loss, confusion, tears, growth, strength, stability and a reclaiming of myself, life in a circle all leading to one thing: the best you can give can only bring the best you can expect.