See Clouds Arriving without Warning

The past year has been filled with discovery, but I was not prepared for the sudden appearance of what you would call heightened intuition. What started as: "I have a pretty good feeling" has turned into something much more.

It all began before our move to Chicago in December of 2005. A visit to the city in the Spring of that year brought a feeling that Chicago would be home by the end of the year. I told my partner John that it would be around December we would make the move. As events unfolded it seemed that this would indeed come to pass. Nah....coincidence I thought.

The decision to move to Chicago was not an easy one for John. The organization in Dallas where he was employed seemed to be heading to a period of upheaval. I had finally emerged from the depths of alcoholism and prescription drug dependency but had yet to reestablish my confidence. Before leaving Dallas, I warned John of three events that would take place upon leaving his current position, two of which came to pass a couple of months after his departure. The third event was a bit more tricky and was laughed off by John as "impossible, never gonna happen."

I made it to Chicago in early December 2005. For me there was never a doubt in my mind that the move was a good thing for all involved. I found a job pretty quickly and we began to settle in as residents of this great city. As for the third event mentioned in the previous paragraph, I would ask John periodically "whether a decision had been made," his answer was always an unsure "no."

This third prediction hung over me like that junk drawer that always needs cleaning and you never get to it. I seemed so sure about this. It would not go away and it was a very important player in what I saw further down the line. In other words, if this happened, a series of events would follow. What was taking so long?

On October 12, 2006 almost a year after John's move, a most unexpected press release arrived in his email. The third "impossible, never gonna happen" prediction came true. There was an immediate sense of uneasiness on John's part. This new twist had him questioning all of his decisions leading up to this point and more important wondering what else did I know.

What I do know is that this has had a profound effect on me. Knowing what follows now involves free will, something of which I'm reluctant to get involved or influence. So now comes silence and through that an acceptance of something my father whispered to me in a dream last week: "Be still, and trust his will."

This journey over the past three years has been filled with abuse, loss, confusion, tears, growth, strength, stability and a reclaiming of myself, life in a circle all leading to one thing: the best you can give can only bring the best you can expect.