Abuse and it's price.....

Carpenter: A poster girl for sadness

I remember watching an awful 1989 biopic about pop singer Karen Carpenter. For whatever reason, Karen continues to have a very large gay following. Maybe it’s the singer’s near perfect alto voice suited for sad songs, in which many find comfort. Even a 2000 film, "The Broken Hearts Club", mentions that an appreciation for the singer is an "OGT" (obviously gay trait.) Anyway, there is a scene in ”The Karen Carpenter Story” centered around a Thanksgiving dinner after Karen’s treatment in a New York facility for anorexia nervosa (complications from years of battling the eating disorder would take the singer's life in 1983.) As dinner is being served, her family stares at the singer waiting to see if she’ll “dig in.” I know that feeling.

Most of our friends like sporting events, so we either end up in the stands or in some bar watching the games. I experienced my first Chicago Bears game at Soldier Field this past Sunday. I always think of my father when I’m a Cub’s game and the Bears game was no exception. I always say to myself: "Dad, I can't believe I'm here." Living good, meaning making the right choices, has brought me so much in return. It was a beautiful day and the Bears beat the Detroit Lions pretty handily. No Super Bowl talk now.

I’m often asked “How do you handle everyone drinking beer while you drink Diet Coke or water.” I have to admit, the most uncomfortable part of all of this is the fact that everyone knows why I no longer drink alcohol. There is a certain shame in having abused something to the point that everyone knows it can no longer be a part of your life. In all fairness, there is also a great deal of respect.

Experiences are not enhanced by what you consume. I enjoy every game, dinner party or group outing with John and my friends without alcohol. There is no temptation or feeling of deprivation. At a recent celebration for John’s and my birthday, I was given a glass of champagne. One sip and it was divvied up among friends.

Karen Carpenter sang it best: ”It took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free. The price I’ve paid is high enough for me.”