A Trophy Wife!!!!????

My parents were very attractive people so my siblings are very fortunate that we turned out "pretty." I was called a "trophy wife" yesterday. This comment has been thrown my way a couple of times. It's not funny and more important flattering.

As a kid I was skinny, awkward with a big mop of hair. Even as an adult I've never had a true perception of self (some would disagree.) Honestly, the first time a felt any sort of flattery was when I entered a gay bar for the first time. This helped my self esteem more than anyone could imagine. But what I didn't know was that there was an agenda by most men just to hook -up.

I am a relationship oriented person. My past partners have been all men "people didn't see me with." That's because my attractions are driven on more than the esoteric. Don't get me wrong, they are all handsome. Now let's look at the other side. I have been compared to the late John Kennedy Jr. (when I was 25.) I have been fit, chubby, skinny, in between, buzz cut, high and tight, every extreme you could imagine. Well as I've grown older (45), I still care for myself, but now it's "what's you see is what you get."

Now about this "trophy wife" shit, first of all the bitches don't work, and to be told that my relationships were built on the foundation of my looks is just.......well, don't make take out that box of crazy! I remember working for a cruise line and one particular employee seemed to always harp on the fact that I always got what I wanted because I was "pretty." I would not justify any of this with an answer.

Being reminded yesterday got me to thinking. There have been times my partners have reminded me that my back hair is a bit out of control, or that I deeply resemble a friend only to have my then partner remark: "but a chubbier version." David, that is for you, because you were there and knew how much it hurt me. I'll never forget your look across the table. I was also labeled "frigid" on the way home. Now I will admit that I had not been "out" since the feminist movement and knew very little of how to "get my freak on." I have been bought ''practice toys" (frightening), shown films that made me want to run to church and pour holy water all over myself.

Lessons learned: There is more to me than my tired ass face. I have an awesome sense of humor, I'm easy to talk to (thanks Daddy) and finally at 45, I can say I love myself, love handles, surgery scars and all. And as for all this "trophy wife" crap. The only trophy I ever "earned" was at my sixth grade science fair. I guess I won that because I was just a "cute" kid. Whatever.