"Hi, I'm Mitzi and I'll be your server and crime statistician this evening."

My partner John and I headed to a local Dallas eatery for the evening. We were promptly seated and greeted by our server, "Mitzi." Of course, the plazma TVs that surrounded us were tuned to the endless coverage on Hurricane Katrina.

John and I are pretty much are on the same page when it comes to the events unfolding in coastal Louisiana and Mississippi. John, born in Michigan and raised in Texas, attended Loyola University in New Orleans. For him, the city holds wonderful memories of frat parties, Mardi Gras and the many friendships he's maintained from school. For me, New Orleans is my home. It is where I was born and will always be a part of me. I am a Texan purely by choice.

Mitzi our server came to take our order and caught the end of a conversation John and I were having about hurricane victims relocating to Texas. Mitzi just jumped right in and offered: "Yeah, have you heard? Crime is already up 33.5% because of all these people. I was amused at her contribution, but found it hard to keep from laughing. Crime was not up 30% or 35%, it was up 33.5%? From what part of her Jessica Simpson brain did she pull this percentage, and so quickly? We were polite but not indulging her. Of course, the statistic was crap and was overwhelming evidence why Mitzi will and always should be a server. -Matt