And God winked...
For those of you who are not familiar with the best-selling book "When God Winks", it can be best described as a collection of short stories that share one thing in common: sometimes what we perceive to be a series coincidences are actullay winks are nods from God prompting us to make a crucial decision or a move to a new place in our lives. In my case, God has, on occasion, had to use a two by four and whack me in the head.
It will come as no surprise for those who know me that I completely embrace this concept because I have lived it. Sobriety has brought many wonderful things back to me: confidence, clarity and conscience. There were days at the beginning of 2005 that I thought my life was over. I was pill-popping, drinking, but most of all sad and crying almost everyday. It was clear I had a choice to make: either remove the excesses of life and work with God or fade away. I'm glad I made the choice to remove all or most of the negative and start focusing on my recovery.
It is not my intention to get all WWJD ("What would Jesus do?") to those who are reading this. In fact, I think Jesus would say: "Stop putting my name on tacky bumper stickers and license plates etc." Anyway, it is in good decision making and good living that I was able to reclaim my old "self." I do believe that at our darkest (and I have had my share of pitch black) and at our best, God does indeed hear us. When I was at the height of my addiction, whether it was over-medicating, drinking, eating, sex, or buying, I was racing from one to the other trying to fill a void. It takes great strength to realize the "void" is not a place to fear. It is what you decide to do with the void that brings about change.
"Who Moved My Cheese?" is another great example of a simple read that offers one conclusion: "move on." This concept is easier said than done when our lives are filled with good memories of what is familiar or what used to be. This could be a job, relationship, new city or all the above. Well, God has winked (actually several times) again. My current partner John has accepted a tremendous career opportunity in Chicago. All the elements seem to fall strangely in place making this move possible.
In our recent visits, I've felt unusually at home in Chicago. I love it's neighborhoods, obvious diverse population, and the excitement of discovering new possibilities with John. The past few years have been a lesson of mourning what used to be. Here's to new beginnings, new friends and most importantly, "moving on."
-Matt
It will come as no surprise for those who know me that I completely embrace this concept because I have lived it. Sobriety has brought many wonderful things back to me: confidence, clarity and conscience. There were days at the beginning of 2005 that I thought my life was over. I was pill-popping, drinking, but most of all sad and crying almost everyday. It was clear I had a choice to make: either remove the excesses of life and work with God or fade away. I'm glad I made the choice to remove all or most of the negative and start focusing on my recovery.
It is not my intention to get all WWJD ("What would Jesus do?") to those who are reading this. In fact, I think Jesus would say: "Stop putting my name on tacky bumper stickers and license plates etc." Anyway, it is in good decision making and good living that I was able to reclaim my old "self." I do believe that at our darkest (and I have had my share of pitch black) and at our best, God does indeed hear us. When I was at the height of my addiction, whether it was over-medicating, drinking, eating, sex, or buying, I was racing from one to the other trying to fill a void. It takes great strength to realize the "void" is not a place to fear. It is what you decide to do with the void that brings about change.
"Who Moved My Cheese?" is another great example of a simple read that offers one conclusion: "move on." This concept is easier said than done when our lives are filled with good memories of what is familiar or what used to be. This could be a job, relationship, new city or all the above. Well, God has winked (actually several times) again. My current partner John has accepted a tremendous career opportunity in Chicago. All the elements seem to fall strangely in place making this move possible.
In our recent visits, I've felt unusually at home in Chicago. I love it's neighborhoods, obvious diverse population, and the excitement of discovering new possibilities with John. The past few years have been a lesson of mourning what used to be. Here's to new beginnings, new friends and most importantly, "moving on."
-Matt
posted by Matthew Cortez at 10/06/2005 10:58:00 AM
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